


The past is dead and buried; but not forgotten

by kazesuke



Category: Collar x Malice (Visual Novel)
Genre: Bad Ending, Collars, Coming In Pants, F/M, Grinding, Pining For Alternate Version of Partner, Spoilers, Victim Treated Like a Lover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 16:09:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18450023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kazesuke/pseuds/kazesuke
Summary: Stuck with an option she hadn't considered when trying to avoid the fate of her collar; she found that in the end it was just easier to go along with it.





	The past is dead and buried; but not forgotten

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HannaM](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HannaM/gifts).



> So happy to write some CollarxMalice fic, I loved all your prompts and had a hard time choosing but I hope you enjoy this!

The CD on her desk was new. Not a new release but these days, Ichika noticed things more than ever and that CD definitely hadn’t been there before. The cover showed some boy band that had been popular across Japan before life as they knew it had descended into lawless chaos.

She wondered why it sat there but maybe more importantly was the who. Who could have put it there? The cheery cover stared up at her, reminding her of how things used to be.

Maybe it had been Shion or Suzune, the twins had grown pretty attached to her these days...

But then she remembered something in the distant corners of her mind, where she thought she'd locked all the happiness away.

A time when her best friend hadn't been a terrorist and she'd mentioned a new CD she wanted. When he'd appeared sweet and caring of the world and maybe just maybe before all the craziness, she might've… she could've…

She swiped the CD off the desk and into the trash, her stomach churning.

 

Saeki found her in the evening, as he usually did. She wondered, not for the first time, if the collar had some tracker in it or if he just had some innate knowledge of where to find her in the compound.

A part of her piped up that they'd been friends once but she silenced it. They weren’t anymore.

He sat down beside her on the sofa that she hated because it reminded her of the one that sat in Yanagi’s office and he smiled. 

His smile sometimes made her forget everything. He still looked like Saeki. His expressions still looked the same, the concern or warmth or kindness in his eyes still shone through. 

But then he’d open his mouth and the words of someone she didn’t know, the words of Zero, came tumbling out. 

“You didn't like my gift, Ichika?” She turned to him to see a concerned frown on his lips but she didn’t know what to believe of him anymore. 

Once upon a time, she’d have found the present thoughtful and she’d have felt the warmth in her chest. But that once upon a time seemed so very long ago, so Ichika didn’t answer because what could she possibly say. 

The smile he gave her looked like pity and there seemed to be a genuine sadness to him as he leant into her and pulled her body against his. 

He pulled her into his lap, a position hardly unfamiliar to her anymore. He cupped her jaw, holding her so gently as his thumb swept across her cheek. Despite the pain he'd caused her, despite the heavy collar around her throat, he always handled her carefully. As if he truly treasured her in some way. 

Ichika went easily when he pulled her into a kiss. It was soft and sweet and, in those moments, she could push away the conversation of the last few minutes and search around her mind for a memory of Saeki.

The Saeki, who had been her classmate, her friend, someone who believed in the same things she did. Though, she supposed he still believed that. Someone who helped her overcome her fears. That was the Saeki she held in her heart as they kissed. 

He gave her long, slow kisses as she sank into his hold. Ichika concentrated on the pleasure and let it run through her. Trying to hold back only made him try harder. So she moaned into his mouth because it made it easier. Because it didn't _feel_ bad. 

His hands slid down to her ass and she began to rock against him. Ichika could feel how hard his cock was already and it sent pleasure skittering through her. Like this she could almost forget about Saeki entirely. She could just push him entirely from her head. But that always brought far sadder memories of those that had helped her after everything began in that church.

Their kiss broke, leaving them panting against each other's lips before she took his again. She bit and pulled at his lower lip. Saeki liked it but she sort of liked to hurt him, to let out her frustration in some way. He groaned as she tugged particularly hard and his fingers dug into her, controlling and consuming her in any way they could. The rock of her hips slowed as he forced her to slow her pace. 

Saeki didn’t want this to be over yet and she had no hope but to go along with it. “So good,” he mumbled, when her hips continued to roll at a much slower, more gentle pace. The pleasure enough to light up and spark nerves but it not so that things would end so quickly. 

His hands travelled up pushing her top with them until she removed it and the loud click of her bra being unclasped filled the room as she dared not stop her hips.

His fingers crept into her hair and he tugged her head back, a soft sigh escaping him. She knew it was because she’d had it cut but cutting her hair had perhaps been her last act of defiance. A tiny act of rebellion she'd been afforded. 

His lips skimmed the collar and her throat, tongue teasing the very edge where metal sat uncomfortably close to her skin. It had all become so sensitive there that Ichika felt herself grow wetter almost immediately. She melted and shuddered in his arms, moans dripping from her lips. Saeki tilted her back until she had to give over to him or she’d fall like some sort of discarded toy. 

He nuzzled between her breasts, kissing the soft and vulnerable skin before he sank his teeth into it. Saeki sucked the skin until it came up dark with his mark - as if he hadn’t left enough of those on her already - and sighed happily into the skin. He sounded so deeply satisfied that it felt like something more she couldn't understand about him anymore.

She felt his murmured compliments against her skin but she didn’t hear them - choosing to block out everything but the pleasure. She relaxed into his hold, because maybe part of her still trusted him, and she groaned as his lips and tongue trailed a hot path over her skin. Ichika felt the sting of littered red marks across her skin before his mouth settled on her nipple, sucking and biting. 

She hadn’t once stopped the rocking of her hips and she desperately shifted to get just a little more friction, just enough to come. It maddened her how close she felt to that edge. 

He had to know her body hovered on the tip of an orgasm. Maybe it was part of the game - to make her want it. Maybe he just wanted her to care for him in some way. 

Ichika whined desperately, frustration bleeding into her tone and only then did Saeki pull her hips tighter to his, rocking hard and fast. 

She came with a shuddering moan, pleasure sliding through her and lighting her nerves on fire. Saeki didnt stop - when had he ever stopped when in pursuit of what he wanted.

Ichika heard him groan, felt his shudder and the pulsing of his cock where they were still pressed impossibly close. He hauled her up into his arms and she buried into his neck because maybe for just a moment longer she could live in some fantasy where this all never happened. 

Some fantasy where metal had never shackled her throat and freedom.


End file.
